Divorce is never going to be pleasant. At the absolute best, it’s a necessary evil. And like everything else in the universe, there is a right way and a wrong way to go about it. According to Canterbury Law Group, “Family law cases where the parents simply agree to 50/50 child custody are sure to save the parents thousands in litigation fees and reduce the time of a divorce from over a year to 6 months or less.”
In the case of a sadly necessary divorce, doing things properly can save not only potentially incredible amounts of money, it can also save you untold grief in the future, especially if children are involved.
The first point we want to make right off of the bat is that legal representation is a must. Please don’t be under any illusions that this is something you can handle by yourself. Going pro se in a divorce situation, no matter how amicable, is as dumb as going pro se in a criminal trial, for all the same reasons. If you are in New South Wales in Australia, you should contact Prime Lawyers today without any further delay. Anywhere else in the world, click here for a directory and you will be on your way to proper legal representation.
The first discussion with your lawyer should and almost certainly will revolve around your legal rights in the divorce proceedings. It’s important to know the full extent of your rights, but also equally important to know what things aren’t worth fighting for. For example, if you are too busy to care for the children part time, don’t ask for joint custody just out of spite. Be realistic and insist on the fullest degree of visitation rights allowed by law, which is more appropriate for your situation and will lead to more harmony in the future.
The Psych Factor
Beyond having these details worked out with the lawyer, the rest of handling a divorce properly has to do with wrestling your own personal demons, which we all have to some extent or other.
There may be a part of you that is actually itching for a long drawn-out war with your ex over every little detail possible. This is a part of you that needs to die. Drawn-out divorces are ultimately no good for anybody, not even the lawyers. Even the lawyers in most circumstances would prefer to settle everything cleanly and quickly and get a good reference from you for their next cases and move on. So make sure you’re part of the solution and not part of the problem.
Corollary to that, make sure you keep yourself flexible and don’t get overly attached to any particular outcome in the divorce. Try to go with the flow as much as possible and be very choosy with which issues you need to fight over. Especially, do not project yourself onto your children.
Following this advice will make for the most peaceful divorce possible, and the best outcome for all concerned.